"The National Foodball League" Project: Jacksonville

by Mike “Cow Ford” Lunsford, Editor-In-Chief

So there I was, chugging along after the Buffalo entry thinking “I’ll just keep traveling west until I hit Pittsburgh and Cleveland.” Well, that was a month ago. In that 30 days since my last entry I’ve written, recorded, edited, and finished GGR’s first ever play-cast. It was kinda like a podcast and a theatrical play had a baby. Check out our version of a Christmas Carol!

Also, we had an election here in the United States. Maybe you heard about it. It was sad to think that it was even a question of who SHOULD win…but it was way closer than it should have been and here we are! And on top of that, the pandemic still rages on! I don’t know about you folks, but I’m beat! And when I looked at the map and saw western Pennsylvania on my horizon I had to pause. I am not disparaging the great people of the greater Pittsburgh area, but Western PA in December isn’t really calling to me. I needed a break, I needed something that felt like a mini vacation of sorts. I’ll come back to the Steel City some other time, but for now, let’s hop a virtual flight to somewhere with palm trees. So off we go, to the largest city by area in the United States: Jacksonville, Florida!

oooh, inviting!

The area known as Jacksonville has been inhabited for thousands of years, with an archeological team finding some of the oldest remnants of pottery in the United States, dating to 2500 BC. In fact, Jacksonville has a habit of having some serious history. In 1564, the area was the site of the French colony of Fort Caroline, one of the earliest European settlements in what is now the continental United States. The colony was unsuccessful after the Spanish ran the French out of Florida. After the Treaty of Paris following the Seven Years War, the Spanish transferred Florida to British rule and a settlement grew at the narrow point in the St. John River where cattle crossed. The Seminole Nation called it Wacca Pilatka. The Brits gave it the lamest name ever though: Cow Ford. The Brits ceded Florida back to Spain after they lost the Revolutionary War.

It wasn’t until 1821 that the Spanish sold the land to America. Once the Americans got ahold of it, they named the area after Andrew Jackson, the first military governor of the Florida Territory and seventh President of the United States. He was a real nice guy wasn’t he? listens to earpiece I’m receiving word that Jackson was insanely brutal to the Native Americans during his presidency. And fought to keep slavery a thing. FUN! That must be an isolated incident: a revered former leader of our country being cruel, brutal and treated people that weren’t white like crap. listens to earpiece I’m receiving word our country’s history is full of this. Run the Jewels tried to warn me.

click on the image if you wanna hear the song. It’s pretty dope :)

Let’s get back to the history of Jacksonville so we can get to the food! After the Civil War, the Jacksonville/St. Augustine area became a popular winter vacation spot for the rich and powerful. Also, before Hollywood became a thing, many motion picture companies filmed in the the Jacksonville area. 30 silent film studios established residency in Jacksonville before the big move to La La Land. It also became a hub for banking and insurance, because there’s nothing banking and insurance nerds are known to love more than warm weather and beaches.

“So I told him, ‘I’m looking at my liquid assets right now: THE OCEAN!’ Haha. So…yeah, that’s why I was forced to leave my last job.”

During World War II, Jacksonville became a hub for the US Navy, with 3 Naval bases being built and the Marines establishing Blount Island Command in the area. Today, the Jacksonville area is the 3rd largest military presence in the country and a big reason for it being the largest city in America. As anyone who has lived in an area that has a large military presence can tell you, a welcome byproduct is a diverse community. For our purposes, that translates into a lot of different cultures being represented through their cuisines. Since it is in the South, there is quite a lot of the typical southern fare: fried chicken, grits, collard greens and other soul food staples. With it’s proximity to the ocean, there is also plenty of fresh seafood. This made finding a “signature dish” for the city difficult. Nothing really stands out when you’re seeing dishes like chicken biscuits, shrimp and grits, and sliders pop up as the most popular in the area. But then that amazing diversity and melting-pot quality showed up to save the day.

Jacksonville has the 10th largest Arab-American population in the country. And this is not a recent thing. The current residents of Jacksonville are the descendants of immigrants who were fleeing the economic decline and religious persecution of the Ottoman Empire, and began settling in the area as early as the 1890s. This brings us to a Jacksonville institution since 1972: The Sheik.

The Camel Rider arguably became the most iconic Jacksonville dish after a New York Times story blew up their spot in 2012. What is “a Camel Rider” other than something that sounds like an inappropriate pejorative that I shouldn’t be using? It’s a cold cut sandwich stuffed into a pita, with lettuce, tomato and Italian dressing. It’s been a favorite in Jacksonville since The Sheik went into business in the early 1970s. There are now half a dozen locations across the ginormous Jacksonville area, so there’s no doubt that this is the right way to go for the Jacksonville foodball team.

However, out of respect and not wanting to potentially offend anyone, I have used a name that is more descriptive of the food item, less specific. It just doesn’t seem right to use that term. Here is your Jacksonville National Foodball League representative: The Jacksonville Pita Pockets.

The actual football team the Pita Pockets are based on are…not good to say the least. They are one of 4 teams to never have been to a Super Bowl. In their defense, they have only been in existence for 25 years, but their expansion team partner, the Carolina Panthers have been to 2. Ouch. Either way, this design is dope, pita sandwiches are delicious and your purchase of a tee shirt helps fund GGR! Get your very own tee by clicking right here!

As always, I hope you enjoyed my food venture into the wilds of Northern Florida. We will return with more “foodball” teams as I am realizing now…I’m not even halfway done. MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO? Kidding, I love doing these articles and designs. Buy one on a dope tee shirt, won’t you? Lots of great other cities and teams below, too!