Andy's Series Review: RoboCop Movies
by Andy Bartsch, GGR contributor emeritus
If there’s one thing I love, it’s talking about movies while forcing my opinions. Just ask Mike Lunsford. “Yes Andy, I’m sure George Clooney would’ve been a great Batman if he worked with better source material but I’m trying to have Thanksgiving dinner with my family.” So, your old buddy Andy is gonna give some more mini reviews as he talks about each of the RoboCop films (not including the TV shows).
ROBOCOP
In the not too distant future (the 21st century, but still very 1980s), violent gangs are roaming the streets, and cops are dying by the dozens every day. Things are so bad, the Detroit police department is even thinking about going on strike. Enter young Alex Murphy (played by the amazing Peter Weller), rookie cop who’s killed in action on his first day on the job. When the corporate snobs at Omni Consumer Products (OCP) take what’s left of Murphy and shove him into a tin can, he is reborn as the near invincible RoboCop. With his memories gone and the help of his partner, the very sexy and badass Anne Lewis (played by Nancy Allen), Murphy tries to remember who he once was and regain any humanity he may still have while searching for his killers.
What can I bring to the conversation about RoboCop that hasn’t already been said? The film is brutal, containing some of the most in-your-face violence and gore that sticks with you forever. Add some amazing actors, some brilliant effects by the legendary Rob Bottin, a dash of Christian symbolism, and a hefty dose of Reagan-era political commentary, and you have yourself a classic film.
I remember playing with the Robocop action figures as a kid and getting frustrated as hell when I couldn’t get the cap rolls to fit in the back of the toys right. Hell, when I actually could load them correctly, I damn near broke my thumbs trying to pull back on the toy’s trigger. Yes, not only did they market an R rated film towards children (that was surprisingly normal back in those days), but you were given a small plastic man with strips containing tiny doses of combustible powder! Be sure to watch the RoboCop cartoon on Saturday mornings too, kids!
still baffled by 80s logic and thinking an ultra-violent movie would make for good kids toys.
One of the things I love about the film is some of the design choices of the film. “Yeah it takes place in the future, but the fanciest cars are going to look like the bottom of a microwave dinner tray, right? Oh the rich, successful guy is snorting cocaine off a hooker’s chest? Make sure he has the nicest house but the tiniest TV screen!” While there’s no denying Rob Bottin’s Robocop suit is still amazing to this day (although I still wonder where the black parts of his neck go when he takes off his helmet), it was an interesting choice to make the scummy lead villain Clarence Boddicker (played by Red Foreman himself, Kurtwood Smith) to look like the dad from ALF. Shouldn’t this bald guy with giant glasses be on a sitcom? But now it’s clear to me that Clarence is one bad dude who shouldn’t be messed with. He’s not like the other bald buy from ER who gets covered in toxic waste, liquefied, then explodes when run over by a car (Paul McCrane)! Come on, I had to bring that up at some point!
The only criticism I can give the film is the one atrocious effect near the end with Dick Jones falling to his death (Ronnie Cox). They don’t call him “Long Arm” Dick Jones for nothing. That and we know next to nothing about Murphy’s family. You would think the film would address how his death would impact their lives. While there’s some subliminal hints as to what happens to his family, the sequel touched on it a little, but as a stand alone film, you think it would play a bigger part. The remake addresses this a little but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
I give Robocop 5/5 Bixby Snyders! “I’d buy that for a dollar!”
ROBOCOP 2
With the success of the first movie (and a brilliant marketing department), it was a no-brainer for Orion Pictures to green light a sequel. Despite Robo’s best efforts, things are bad as ever in Detroit, now that a new florescent drug called Nuke is on the streets. Instead of properly funding the police department, OCP decides a SECOND Robocop is needed. When Murphy is kidnapped by the evil Nuke dealer Kane (and his pottymouthed 10 year old sidekick), they use everything they have to literally tear Robo into scrap. OCP uses this as opportunity to reprogram Murphy, making him the ultimate boy scout. While all this is happening, the new Robocop 2 (ah, I see what you did there) goes rogue, and it’s up to Murphy to stop him!
There’s some amazing stop-motion throughout the film (suck it, CGI!) and the film is directed by Empire Strikes Back’s Irvin Kershner and written by Frank Miller! Yes, THAT Frank Miller, during his Daredevil years and long before he went bat-shit insane! There’s a little bit of his forthcoming insanity in the film, but if you take into account Miller’s original script (which was later adapted into a comic book), we should’ve all seen the warning signs.
While admittedly it’s more of the same, Robocop 2 is still a very entertaining flick.
I give Robocop 2 3/5 big ass Nuke canisters.
ROBOCOP 3
Okay, I know I’m gonna lose a lot you on this one but I gotta admit something I’m not proud of…
(inhales deeply)
I love Robocop 3. I know I’m probably the only one who does and I totally understand why it’s mocked so heavily. The film’s now PG-13, so the violence isn’t anywhere near as in your face. It tends to be preachy as hell. Robo takes his damn time appearing on film (but that buildup and eventual payoff was awesome!) There’s an annoying little kid in the mix now. Peter Weller isn’t playing Murphy. And the jetpack… Yeah the jetpack was kinda silly, but hey, if Iron Man can fly, why shouldn’t RoboCop? Hell, that’s why he had an interchangeable arm, they’re constantly trying to upgrade him!
So, I know I’m totally biased here but keep in mind, Orion was on the verge of bankruptcy (they actually DID go bankrupt, delaying the film’s release by two years), resulting in an awkward and what feels like a rushed ending. However, the film is directed by Monster Squad and Night of the Creeps director Fred Dekker! The way Dekker films the action scenes are nothing short of brilliant, and while the movie has some flaws, it’s still very entertaining.
While Peter Weller had to pass on the film due to scheduling conflicts, Robert John Burke does a great job as RoboCop! While his robotic movements aren’t on par with Weller’s (possibly due to the suit being too small for him), Burke gives a bit more edge to Murphy, giving the vibe of an over-the-top 80s action hero. The best example is when Robo is getting his roboass handed to him by a ninja (yeah, Robocop versus a freaking ninja!) and he says, “You’re under arrest for assault of a police officer.” The Ninja responds by slicing Murphy’s arm off with a sword. “And destruction of police property,” he continues.
The film is soaked in comic book style action, mainly thanks to Frank Miller once again penning the film. This time, the trademark Miller crazy is on full display thanks to the violent gang known as the Splatter Punks. “Pop a trank, hypo-head,” one of the Punks tells his panicking fellow gang member. “Shot him the in the mouth, splatter brain!” These guys look like they stepped right of the pages of The Dark Knight Returns. The only thing missing is a caption balloon shaped like an arrow pointing at them saying, “THESE are the SPLATTER PUNKS!”
The film has a fantastic cast as well. Not only does Nancy Allen reprise her role as Lewis, but the film also features Bradley Whitford, Rip Torn, CCH Pounder, Mako, Jill Hennessy, Jeff Garlin, and Stephen Frickin’ Root! Hell, even ED-209 makes an appearance! I love this film despite its flaws. Is it for everyone? No. Is it a lot of fun? Hell yes!
I’m sorry, but I give Robocop 3 4/5 suicidal yuppies.
ROBOCOP (2014)
It seemed like in the mid-2010s, every good 80s action flick was being remade into a PG-13 borefest. From Total Recall to Point Break, no film was safe! Of course RoboCop was no exception. However, when it was revealed that the cast would include Michael Keaton, Jackie Earl Haley, Gary Oldman, and Samuel (the “L” stands for “mother*cker) Jackson, some hype was built up about the picture. While the film is far from terrible, it lacks the violence, the charm, and wit of the original. Once again, the film is PG-13, so no exploding toxic man or testicle shooting in this movie.
Unlike the original film, the story is focused on Murphy (now played by Joel Kinnaman) and his relationship with his family both before and after his transformation into RoboCop. While Murphy never really loses his memories, his brain is manipulated like software code to act more like a machine.
The design of the costume remains fairly faithful to Rob Bottin’s original design. In fact it actually looks pretty cool at first. However, Keaton’s character recommends the suit be completely black, and while plot-wise, that makes sense, it’s nowhere near as visually pleasing. One cool design choice is Murphy is now able to show his entire face as he pleases, removing and returning the visor by mental command. However one odd choice, which to my knowledge has never been explained*, is Murphy still has a single fleshy hand. Maybe it’s a callback to the original when the late great Miguel Ferrer says in the original he wants to get rid of Murphy’s good arm but again, as a design choice it’s visually unappealing and awkward.
While the film is watchable, it doesn’t hold a candle to the original. The best thing about this film was Our Robocop Remake. Upon the announcement of the Hollywood remake, several indie filmmakers took it upon themselves to remake the original film as they saw fit. Each filmmaker was given a different scene to remake, some almost looking identical to the original, but with a hilarious spin on it. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it and it’s available online for free!
*There was a deleted scene where they explain the why…and it’s still dumb.
I give Robocop 2014 2/5 Michael Keatons Wishing He Was Still in a Black Suits.
I give Our Robocop Remake 5/5
Despite a few flubs and a weak remake, the RoboCop franchise is a very solid film series. There’s a reason why the real citizens of Detroit want a statue of Robo proudly displayed in their city (with a slot to put cap rolls into) and RoboCop has remained one of the most popular science fiction franchises of the last thirty years. This series wasn’t that tough to review. Maybe next time I’ll pick a series with even more bombs. Now if you’ll excuse me, Mike Lunsford and I are gonna get drunk and watch Our Robocop Remake.